Chapter 124

I arrived at the Canadian border near Niagara falls at golden hour in the afternoon. The sky was beautiful and open. There I sat in my car, waiting in line to be checked by a plethora of people in hazmat suits. They were going around car to car to see if anyone had properly followed all the protocols. A lot of people didn’t and it seemed like they were holding up the line. 

I made a note to follow all the protocols, mainly because I had no hotels booked that night and didn’t want to be stranded in the US. While waiting, I pulled out my phone and opened the Canadian quarantine app. Then I switched tabs to a CVS website where there was a display of a confirmed negative PCR test along with a stamp that said I had gotten it done the morning a day earlier. I followed all the protocols to the letter and was ready. 

Once the hazmat guys got to me, they took all my documents and then proceeded to give me a kit. When I opened it, I found 2 new PCR tests inside. Even with an app that said I was negative and a completed questionnaire on their app that proved I had not come into contact with anyone as of late, I was still going to be tested again. 

The first PCR test I did in front of a hazmat personnel. The 2nd one I will do 1 week from that day. Also, everyday from the day I crossed the border until the 14th day, I was to check in with the app to state where I was and what I was doing. I thought nothing too much about this and was glad that I didn’t get denied entry. After this was done, I drove to my mom’s place. She had a basement and that was my choice of quarantine location. (I couldn’t go back to my condo because the space was much smaller).

After greeting my mom from a distance, I set up myself to be a hermit for 2 weeks in the basement. This was my reward for finishing another NBEO test. It was down time. Down time in a basement with no contact with the outside, sure, but still down time. 

In times of isolation, I think everyone eventually gets a bit introspective. I mean, if you read the chapters on Hong Kong and Vietnam I’d think you’d find that I’m prone to this habit. But during this quarantine, I was doing fine. The drive from the last two days was more than enough time to think things over and now, I think I was done with it all. It was time to just enjoy being on track.

I, honestly, really enjoyed the quarantine. I mean, what did I have to do? Nothing. I had studied for all my board exams well in advance and was just now waiting for the Canadian OSCEs to come around. My study group basically drilled any and all cases to death and now I was also extra prepared having done a practical exam involving the same skills. With all of that out of the way, I focused on just bettering myself. 

I did a lot of home workouts since I couldn’t leave the premises and caught up on all the TV shows I ever barely thought about. This and oh yeah, a whole bunch of video games too. It was great. It’s been a long time since I stopped and had a vacation. 

By the 1 week mark, I got online and visited the Canadian quarantine website. I then went into a call with a nurse and was instructed to stick the PCR test up my nose for the third time while on camera. After that was done, I put my nose sample into a sealed package and called an Uber (with a discount code provided by the app of course). A little while later, the Uber guy came and picked up my test. Surprise surprise, it was revealed to be negative just a few short hours later. After this, there would be no more tests. I just had to isolate myself for 7 more days. 

While the first week went by with a breeze, the second week was when things got a little stuffy. You can only watch so many TV shows before everything feels a bit too much. I went outside to the garden well enough to feel like I wasn’t in prison but even then, the limited interactions derived from online chats only was not enough to shake the feeling of a bit depressed. 

I decided to clean up my space and just organize everything in the basement a bit better. During the cleaning, I really questioned if anyone would care if I broke quarantine and went for a jog or just went home to my girlfriend at the condo. Before that thought went too far, I picked up an old journal I had when I was much younger and went through it. 

I recall the desire to journal in the past, I picked up a cool looking book and the blank pages filled my imagination with wonder. After getting the book in my possession however, I was stumped. What do I write about? I couldn’t really think of anything so I just ended up drawing. The book I now held only had drawings. Well, drawings and a lot of blank pages. 

The drawings do tell a story though. I remember what my intentions were when I drew my little doodles too. I recall my imagination and how wild it was back then. Looking back now, all the things I ever imagined are no longer seen as creative. Maybe it’s just because I am now older and can’t think like a kid but I think there is also the fact that every single thought can be seen on the internet in some form. That’s just the times we live in. 

Every possible scenario I had ever dreamed about as a kid was now a TV show or a movie. The only thing that was different were the characters but their roles? All played out a million times over. Content creation has marketed imagination, thought and showed that maybe creativity isn’t often unique. Maybe this is the way it’s always been and now, we’ve just found out about it because of the digital age of information. 

I did stay looking at my journal for quite some time and recalling my most favorite imaginary story. It’s a pretty common one but then again, maybe not? It goes like this, I was a knight that was fighting monsters, killing demons and slaying dragons. I would be successful in conquering them all, of course, and then, I would be rewarded with a princess. Before I got to have my happily ever after however, there would be one last conflict with another adversary. In this last battle, I would win but also, I would die. 

I have no idea why I thought this way but I craved the idea of dying while doing something noble. It seemed like the most poetic way to go. Let me be clear. I wasn’t suicidal, nor was I actively searching for chances to be in danger. But in all my fantasies, I hoped to die a hero. I think the main effect I wanted is to have a legacy. You can’t fall from grace if you die. My memory will forever be that of admiration. There’s no chance I’d do something later on in life where I’d become the villain or become tarnished in reputation. In truth, I think I was trying to get all of the credit and bare no responsibilities to maintain the standard afterwards. Winning is easy, continually winning is exhausting. 

Maybe there’s something wrong with that. Maybe there isn’t. Maybe you had the same thoughts. Who knows? Here’s another thought though. Maybe I just wanted the attention and the appreciation.  Maybe I just wanted to do good and then die because then, my family would realize how important I was. I wanted to be missed because that meant I would be wanted. I prioritize my memory and legacy more than my existing self. Is that selfishness? Is that a struggle to be validated? Was that because I wasn’t loved enough? Was it because I was so deprived of compliments that I sought approval so desperately in order to be okay with myself? Am I reading way too much into some doodles I drew as a seven year old? Absolutely. 

I guess I did get a bit introspective there after all…

When I was done with the journal, I put it in my bag. It was a shame to leave that journal just lying around doing nothing when it’s empty. This is especially true when you remember that I journal like crazy now, though I do it with a keyboard and not a pen and paper. 

On the morning of the 12th day into quarantine, my mom called me from upstairs saying I had a visitor. I was confused, the guy in the quarantine had a visitor? Cautiously, I peaked out from the basement and looked towards the door. It was a random guy pointing to his phone. I didn’t recognize him but I recognized what he was holding. Though he was a fair distance away from me, I could see that his phone had the Canadian quarantine app opened. He asked if I was isolating. I said yes, still a few feet away from my mom and him. He then looked at me, swiped a few things on his phone and then asked me if I was quarantined in the basement of this house. I replied yes again. He nodded and then left. 

That was it. No, seriously. That was it. He didn’t come in to check in on me, he didn’t ask me anything else. Maybe the sight of just my mom and I living in a small semi-detached house was enough to convince him that we don’t have much contact with people there. Who knows? To be perfectly honest, the fact that he showed up at all was already surprising. I didn’t think people took the app that seriously. 

Nearing the last few days of my quarantine, I got a little bit of excitement from a project the Waterboys Acapella group was doing. Yeah, the acapella group. You know, the guys from my last term in University almost a year ago? Yeah. Turns out, since COVID, most of acapella had shut down and there wasn’t that much going on. With essentially no next generation of our group yet, our previous acapella group was somehow still relevant. 

If you’ll recall, I mentioned that our music director for the group, someone who I hold in high regard in music mixing and editing ability, uploaded a recorded performance of our last ICCA’s repertoire. It was probably the best thing Waterloo acapella published in all my 8 years being with them. Anyhow, for that mix, someone got the idea to record a video for it as a “Waterboys quarantine edition” video. All they needed, for the most part, was just for everyone to lip sync our parts to the masterfully edited piece. 

It was a small thing but I really needed it. Quarantine was getting to me and it’s been months and months since I did anything musical (or even pseudo-musical). I felt very happy to be a part of it all. 

After this last event during quarantine, everything else went by pretty monotonously. I kept to my schedules during quarantine and counted the days for it to be over. When I left my mom’s basement at the end of quarantine, I felt refreshed. It was like a vacation for me and now, I was ready to keep facing the world. 

In the next couple of months, there will be the OSCE’s test. This is arguably the most important part of my academic career because if I passed it would signal the start of my practice entrance. We’ll be getting into that next chapter. 

Just before we get there though, I’d like to thank you dear reader (if you exist) for reading past the dullest yet most treacherous parts of my career. It’s kinda long I know, but I promise you there is a reason I am writing so much in so much detail here. The reason will be explained a little while from now.

As for right now though…Things are about to speed up immensely.